


Free Falling from a Life on Hold

by beckalina



Series: Scenes from an American Movie [3]
Category: Jonas Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe, Incest, M/M, Scenes From an American Movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-21
Updated: 2013-07-21
Packaged: 2017-12-20 21:30:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/892092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beckalina/pseuds/beckalina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That house stopped being home to him the day Joe walked out. This is home. Joe is home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Free Falling from a Life on Hold

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the "Scenes From an American Movie" 'verse, which is based on songs from Everclear's "Songs From an American Movie".
> 
> _Joe turned eighteen and walked out of Nick's life. Nick turned eighteen and walked into Joe's._

Nick locks himself in the bathroom and cries after the first time he and Joe have sex. He stares hard at himself in the dingy motel mirror, as if he expects his reflection to burst into flame at any moment. He can’t think of a time in his life when this wasn’t exactly what he wanted. He can’t think of a time in his life when he didn’t know that this would be the thing that would surely damn him. 

He tilts his head and brings his fingers up to his neck, tracing his finger over the darkening bruise that mars the skin there. He can see marks in the hollows of his hips from where Joe’s fingers dug into him, just below the faint pink crescents from Joe’s fingernails. He takes a few deep breaths and splashes cool water on his face. It’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. It has to be.

When Nick finally feels calm enough to leave the bathroom, Joe is pointedly watching Fallon with the sound turned so low that there’s no way he can actually hear it. Nick slides into the bed while Joe turns the television off and reaches over to turn out the light. He settles into the bed with his back to Nick, the moonlight casting cool blue light on the dark waves of his hair. Nick pulls the cheap, scratchy comforter over both of them and reaches a hand towards Joe before he changes his mind and drops it onto the mattress between them.

Nick is almost asleep when he feels the bed shift with Joe’s movement. He cracks an eye open to find that Joe is watching him with sad eyes, his lower lip caught between his teeth.

“We can buy you a bus ticket back to Texas tomorrow.” Joe whispers, his hand moving to rest on Nick’s bicep. 

“Why?” Nick sits up in the bed and stares down at Joe, his heart beating wildly in his chest. 

“Maybe this isn’t going to work. I don’t want you to do anything that you don’t want to do. It’s only been a month, they’ll let you back home.” Nick can’t miss the bitterness that practically drips from Joe’s words. Joe would never be afforded that opportunity. 

“Joe, Joe please. I don’t want to go back. I want—I want this, I want to be with you. ” He’s begging—he knows that he’s begging—but the thought of trying to live without Joe makes him slightly nauseous. He can’t, not after everything that’s happened. Not ever again. That house stopped being home to him the day Joe walked out. This is home. Joe is home.

“Am I . . . ” Joe trails off for a moment, his gaze trained on a water stain on the ceiling. “Nick, you don’t have to, you know,” he waves his hands vaguely in the air between them, “If you don’t want to. We can just, like, hang out.” 

Nick makes a grab for one of Joe’s hands and twists his fingers with his brother’s. “I don’t know how to want anything else,” he admits. 

That’s why he left behind everything that he knew, he reminds himself. It’s why he would follow his brother to the ends of the earth if he had to. It’s definitely not right, it might never even be okay, but Nick honestly doesn’t know any other way to be. He and Joe are two halves of a whole and this is as inevitable as the tides. 

Joe’s eyes glitter in the darkness of the room and the tiny smile that plays across his lips is worth the tight clench of fear that’s still, somehow, pressing down on the center of Nick’s chest. Anything is worth making Joe happy. Nick learned that lesson before he could even talk. He falls back against the mattress and takes a deep breath, forcing himself to relax. He knows instinctively that Joe isn’t going to make another move until he’s absolutely positive that Nick meant what he said, so he rolls over and pulls his brother closer, pressing their lips together in a timid kiss. Joe’s smile widens beneath Nick’s mouth, his hand cupping Nick’s cheek. There are tears prickling behind Nick’s closed eyelids, but he’s not going to hide again. 

Nick shifts so that Joe is underneath him and works his tongue past his brother’s lips, sweeping it over the line of perfect teeth that he’s always been jealous of. He’s still new to this and he’s clumsy, can never figure out what to do with his hands or if he’s using too much tongue. He’s let Joe take the lead because he hates feeling inadequate, hates the niggling voice in the back of his mind that tells him that Joe has probably had better—will probably want better when the newness wears off and reality sets in.

This time, Joe lets Nick set the pace and they kiss languidly, tongues slipping together as their hips roll lazily against each other. Nick pulls away and dips his tongue into the hollow of Joe’s throat. He can’t stop the grin that dances across his lips when Joe’s hips jolt sharply against his, a low moan falling out of his brother’s mouth. 

“I love you,” Nick whispers against the taut skin of Joe’s neck, scraping his teeth against the pulse point to garner another moan. “So much. I’ll never—I’ll always want this.”


End file.
